Lately there's been a lot of talk with friends and family about marriage and it's value. Sadly, I seem to be in the minority of those that truly value marriage.
Am I surprised? No, not terribly. Divorce rates are up, single-parents more common than not, and society as a whole seems to be pessimistic.
What surprises me is the people that this de-valuing of marriage comes from. My siblings and I seem to be split right down the middle, 2 in favor, 2 against marriage. That seems so odd to me with the example of a really strong marriage growing up with my parents. Growing up with "Mr. and Mrs. Claus" as they are lovingly called by my friends I have always been barraged with sentences like "When I get married, I hope I'm lucky enough to have half the relationship that your parents do". So it makes me question why it is that my siblings and I are split down the middle. I love them all dearly, I just can't seem to wrap my head around their objections to marriage with such a fine example of how good it can be growing up.
In retrospect, I guess what truly concerns me is that this trend isn't limited to my family alone, in fact, it seems the vast majority of people take marriage to be a joke these days.
That actually seems to be the main problem with marriage to me. Lately, you'll see celebrities who are married for a few weeks and divorced, friends you might know who have maybe been married a year and then divorced.
I've always had such a hard time understanding those who disagree with marriage because I feel like I think more logically about things. I don't hold the idea or the union accountable for the actions of people. I ran across a quote about this idea not to long ago that seems appropriate:
"If you are the type of person to think that guns are the cause of violence, then you logically would also hold the belief that pencils misspell words, that spoons make people fat, and spray paint tags buildings."
Friends, the problem isn't marriage! The problem is YOU!
Marriage isn't supposed to be taken lightly. Marriage isn't something you jump into (although you can and can do quite well at it!). Marriage is not something you should go into thinking "Oh, well if it doesn't work out I can always leave.." Marriage is supposed to be a commitment through thick and thin, life and death, poverty and richness -- You state this at a wedding for a REASON. Marriage isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows, and yes, there will be many days where you just flat out dislike your spouse! Suck it up! Talk it out! Respect each other!
THAT IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ABOUT!
Now, the other portion of marriage that has become a problem is that people have this disdain for God these days. I'm not necessarily the shiniest example of a good christian (I'm probably by most people's definitions one of the worst examples or else not a christian at all) but - I understand the spiritual side to marriage as well. You are affirming your relationship in life and in death. There's a damned reason for that! Marriage is supposed to be forever, and when you take the spiritual aspect out of it, well yeah - what's the point in trying to make it work.
Alright, I get it, I'm ranting a bit here. All I'm saying is this -- take your relationships more seriously. As your relationships progress in the levels of seriousness and ultimately end in marriage, you must progress as well. If not, I fear you are condemned to suffer through a divorce.
For your sake, I hope it's an amicable one.
2 comments:
Ha ha...for the time being, I keep my mouth shut on marriage. But I give you extreme respect for tackling it.
:) I ain't scurred! But really, just trying to focus on stuff that gets tossed around in my life, this was one of those such issues lately.
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